After a mild crisis in which I stop messaging everyone, including the people I’ve met online, my phone went silent and sank in my bed trying to figure out if people were conspiring against me.
I’ve been sleeping for 12 hours, working for 8, eating, and trying to write for the other 4, and I prefer that over not sleeping, trying to not cry at work and binging on anything that catches my attention for the remaining four.
When pills started kicking in, decided to eat healthier and exercised for two weeks and then my energy faded (again), mood stabilizers make me float, I can’t fly, sink nor spin out to a parallel dimension.
I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel instead of being absorbed by a black hole into disappearance and the nightmares I had since childhood are coming back as memories I’ll keep blocked till my next psychologist appointment.
Recovery is complex.